A  few one liners,which will either raise a smile or provoke a thought.

We have enough youth.How about a fountain of smart?

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge,others just gargle.

The hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

Beauty is quite different from charm,beauty is what you notice in a mature woman,charm is when a woman notices you.

Did you hear about the banker who’s a great lover? He knows first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.

Sometimes i wake up grumpy.Other times i let her sleep.

What can you hold without ever touching it? A conversation.

Restaurant:Man walks into a restaurant,sat down at the bar and ordered a drink.As he sat there sipping his drink,he heard this tiny voice which said “Nice haircut!”

The man looked around but didn’t see anyone.A few minutes passed and once again this same small voice said “What a nice tie you have on!”

He turned completely around,looking carefully,but there was nobody there.

Getting a little uneasy,he heard the voice again.

” That sure is a nice jacket you’re wearing !”

Wondering what was going on,he called the bartender over and asked “Bartender,i keep hearing this tiny voice and yet there’s nobody around”

The bartender replied, “Oh,that’s just the peanuts.They’re complimentary”.